Flight animal.Child

Children are NOT small adults!
Yes, of course, we already knew that. But when the little ones make you mad, we often forget about it because we're preparing for a fight. That's the hardest part of it all. Take a step back, take a deep breath, try to smile (without being ridiculous). Don't set the little Anger Smurf to the level of an attacker, but try something else. 

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The parallel to the horse world

When people who are not enthusiastic about horses think of horses, it is not uncommon for them to think of the current horse-children films.east wind, for example. In my childhood it waslightningorBlackBeauty. These films all have the same basic story. A child befriends a horse. At first glance it seems totally absurd, but it really isn't. Indeed, children have a manner that is very agreeable to horses.
You don't judge.
Children approach their counterparts in a similar way to horses.
First of all unbiased - until they register something that unsettles them.
They are merely reacting to what is being offered to them at that very moment.  

Children feel connected to horses!

In many videos from Monty Roberts' online university, I have observed the behavior of the flight animal horse  again and again.  Roberts also points out the similarity between the behavior of children and horses.

 

Although theoretically I already had all the pieces of the puzzle together to understand the phenomenon, it only was the following sentence that triggered a remarkable change in my approach:

"Children are at their worst when they need help the most."

These are the words the father of a difficult child said to me while we were talking about our kids.

It was only this sentence that made me realize, that I had the problem until now
- in spite of all the background knowledge - not correctly recognized and would never have understood correctly even without his words.

 

I've read in Monty Roberts' books that children often behave like prey animals when cornered/trapped. That they fight back and lash out like a horse that feels misunderstood and attacked.

I already knew that one shouldn't ask children to understand too much of uncomfortable but necessary situations.

I already knew that children are emotional beyond measure and often react very strongly.

But for a long time I didn't really know why that was.

 

They are hungry and they are crying. - But don't say it! - They just cry.

They are thirsty and they cry. - But don't say it! - They just cry.

They are tired and they are crying. - But don't say it! - They just cry.

They feel wronged and they cry. - But don't say it! - They just scream.

They are extremely reactive - just like a horse!

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"Children are at their worst, when they need help the most."

It was only this sentence that made me rethink and helped me not to feel personally attacked and to remain calm in overheated situations, as I would want to do when dealing with a horse.

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Stay rational because your counterpart – your child – just can’t yet.
Children are NOT little adults!

 

"Take a step back if you want to reach your child!"