The approach
The child
Scientists, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and educators know an extraordinary amount of facts about children.
However, most people only know that they are NO "little adults" but "children".
Scientifically spoken, the brain
(including neocortex, prefrontal cortex)
and thus also the Super-I is not yet fully developed.
Only then it is possible to act rationally like an adult.
So they act and react emotionally, i.e. irrationally.
When dealing with them, this means:
- do not assume adult thought patterns
- not to frighten them and
- to show them understanding for their "distress".
Correlation horse - child
There is no proper reference to it in German-speaking countries.
With this appearance I will hopefully start a controversy about why I make such a claim.
For me, at least since 2022, the parallels between the behavior of horses and children have been perfectly crystal clear.
They are hungry and crying.
- But they don't say it! –
they just cry.
They are thirsty and they cry.
– but don't say it! –
they just cry.
They are tired and they are crying.
– but don't say it! –
they just cry.
They feel unfairly treated and scream.
- but don't say it! -
they just scream.
In such moments, they only react based on their feelings and are reactive,
just like a foal!
"They're both at their worst when they need help the most.”
Please rethink!
Foals always look cute and innocent, even when they're acting wild.
Children, on the other hand, very quickly manage to trigger a kind of fight mode in us adults because they look angry and aggressive.
Inside,
however, they are just as
helpless as a foal!
Flight animal Equus (equine)
Anyone who would like to know exactly what the prey animal horse is can find out on the web exactlymatters.
So I'll just summarize it here:
horses are:
- herd animals,
- flight animal and
- herbivores.
That also means in a nutshell that they:
- feel safe in the herd,
- run away in case of danger and
- want to eat in peace.
They act and react exclusively intuitively - that is irrational.
For dealing with them this means:
- it is unwise to isolate them,
- to corner/trap them and
- feeding them improperly. (Hunger makes angry ;-)
Approach
If you now realize that they cannot behave differently, then you may also find it easier to meet them in a more relaxed manner.
They only react to those around them and to the respective situation. This is true even if it might seem differently.
Children should never be cornered when interacting with them. Neither physically nor emotionally.
Unfortunately, that is exactly what happens very often. Even if it mostly happens unconsciously.
In stressful situations, adults unfortunately forget that they should not expect rational thinking and acting from children.
They just do what seems good to them.
That's the dilemma.
Of course, all this has been scientifically proven, but usually most adults forget it in the "heat of the moment".
And suddenly you are fighting with your beloved offspring.
Nobody really wants that.
A solution is needed...