The solution
Here we go!
It is now clear to you that your little darling can not behave differently.
However, you still don't find it much easier, to meet them more relaxed.
Your child reacts to you and to the situation.
cause > effect
(This is true even if it might seem differentlike.)
That's a big advantage! So your offspring doesn't have to change at all. All it takes is you!
Change what is fastest!
YOURSELF!
Really! It doesn't get any better. Because you can change yourself relatively quickly. That's how it is, even if you can't really imagine it yet.
Just the fact that you are looking for a solution
already means that you want to change something!
Start with yours right Approach!
:-)
Pack it up!
The little ones should NEVER be pushed into a corner if possible.
Neither physically nor emotionally!
This results in the worst situations that you can imagine: blocking, screaming, switching to stubborn, Hinthrowing, spitting - the whole madness up to the outburst of anger.
Would you rather prevent that?
Then try the following steps:
"Take a step back if you want to approach your child!"
Step 1 - Gaining distance
Relax!
Take part!
Get into constructive action!
(Take three steps back, take a deep breath, show understanding and seek a solution)
Step 2 – Clarifying the cause
(If your child is a bit older, you can ask directly.)
Hunger/ lack of energy
Thirst / dehydration
Tiredness / exhaustion
Fear (rational, irrational)
Desorientation
Step 3 – Fixing the problem
Hunger / lack of energy
> Food, Snack, glucose, etc.
Thirst / dehydration
> Drinks, juicy fruits, etc.
exhaustion / Tiredness
> Sleep, rest, cuddling
Rational Fear
(of real danger)
(eg: animals, height, speed, darkness, isolation)
> fix it immediately and don't downplay it!!!!!
Irrational Fear
(before objectively harmless)
(e.g.: fear of loss (toys, media time, playtime, walking away from friends, etc.),
overtaxing
> Distraction through questioning, reference to later activity
If a cause cannot be remedied immediately for reasons of space or time, a realistic and timely solution should be offered and followed.
Disorientation
Once the basic needs are met, give your child an orientation as to what is expected of him or what activities are associated with the child during the day.
> roadmap: kindergarden/school > pick up time > play > dinner > bedtime)
> Work out "Rules of the game" with the whole family that have to be followed by everyone.
Basic needs met + rules + roadmap = balance
YOU can DO that!
Don't give up, it's worth it!
LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE DONE!
(The mindset and techniques of Nonviolent Communication can support you.)
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